She said/He said

(1)
She said: Remember how you told me that I should pursue a job that I actually enjoy not just one that I'm good at. I actually took your advise ; I quit my boring monotonous job a couple of weeks ago and decided to take time off and discover what I enjoy doing best. And guess what, I discovered I looovvveee to cook. I'm not sure how I will turn it into a job yet; I'll figure it out , eventually. But, honestly, I have you to thank. I never realized how I could be so happy just by doing simple things.

(2)
He said: I was flipping channels the other day and I saw her show. As a professional chef, you see, I don't usually pause on cooking shows, these are for amateurs. I'm not sure why I paused; I think it was the way she looked. I don't know, she isn't that beautiful in terms of physical beauty, but there's something about her. She's so passionate about her cooking. She makes Spanish omelet sound like the grandest gourmet meal. I know that this would sound weird, but I make sure to watch her everyday now. She gives the simple people a sense of enjoyment in the food they eat everyday. This other day, she was talking about a chocolate dip ; not fondue , not even fudge..just our plain boring chocolate dip, which is something I wouldn't even ask my apprentice to do, and I felt, well, hot from her description. I'm just fascinated by her.

(3)
She said: You won't believe who asked me out ; the master chef of the Four Seasons. Can you imagine? Me, asked out by the great master himself. The guy is sooo sweet , handsome, French and knows how to COOK, what more would a woman want. But I'm not sure I'm going. Why not? Isn't it obvious why not? He's him and I'm me. I wouldn't know what to wear nor what to expect. And what if we go to a restaurant , and I think the food is great and he thinks its terrible. He'll think I'm just a fat pig eating anything that is given to me? Or what if I don't like something and it turns out he likes it? Yes you're right. I should stop the what ifs. Oh, my producer introduced me to him at some random event. Well, I guess so, how bad can it be? I'll just meet him.

(4)
He said: I thought of asking her to one of my restaurants but I'm sure she tried them all before. She's a cook, and a cook should be treated in a special way. I haven't dated a cook since you know; I told you the story before. Anyway, I asked her to my penthouse; I knew it was a risk given the cultural implications , but its where I have MY kitchen and I wanted to cook something special for her. Setting up the place was the hardest; I decided no wine, I wasn't sure if she drinks or not, but I made several other fruit juices. I thought, romantic dim light, then I decide, might be mis-interpreted. You Egyptians are so hard to cater for, but it went anyway. I left the lights on, put a simple tablecloth on the kitchen table,arranged the cutlery and only mood music. But it went well, I think I'll call her again.

(5)
She said: At first I thought, his penthouse, fishy, but I remembered that he has been in Egypt for over a year now and probably knows he's not getting any with Egyptian girls. I thought of taking a bottle of wine, like in movies, but again, I didn't want to be over-westernized. I thought dessert, but he's a cook, I thought he'd be offended. Ugh..men are so hard to cater for. But it went well, I took some of my favorite home-made tapas as appetizers and put them in really cute containers. They looked like something you'd buy off Harrods gourmet section. He said he liked them; not sure if he really meant it or if he was just saying it to make me feel good. I was obviously very nervous at the beginning of our date. I have to tell you, his kitchen, is my dream come to life; everything organized, all the ingredients labeled, fresh home grown herbs, ...you name it, he has it. And the size of that kitchen... It's as big as my house. I love it. His cooking, how can I even start to describe it; he's like the king and all the cookware, cutlery, ingredients, his loyal subjects. It's like the butter melts on his knife before even being smothered on the chicken, strawberries want to be touched by his fingers before being dipped in the fondue, even the sweet peas were bending to make it easier for his knife to cut through them. Then the arrangement, plates raced to be his first choice for arranging food; nothing was placed haphazardly, everything made sense, the lettuce leafs can not touch shredded carrots without a layer of cheese to blend in the taste. And the taste, oh my God,is far better than anything I ever tasted in my entire life. It's like I haven't even tasted food before; how the chocolate fondue melts in your mouth at exactly the right time. Not too early so you've savored its taste but not too late that you grow accustomed to it; it melts at the exact moment that is needed to leave you wanting more.

(6)
He said: She came over again, this time she cooked. Nothing fancy, your regular steak and potatoes, side salad and a banana cake for dessert. Food was good, not good enough to hire her in my kitchen, but good enough for a family dinner on a Saturday night. But it's not her food that's special, it's how she describes her cooking. She is so good with words, and things sound so delicious when she says them. She was actually verbalizing how she butters her toast and I wondered if I have ever eaten something that tasty before, but in the end, it's just bread and butter. But I really like her, I can just sit there and listen to her talk about food.

(7)
She said: We're an item now, I think. Yes ,of course , we have other things in common other than cooking; like classical music , travel..umm.. Anyway, I look at it this way, anything in the end leads to food. For instance, we started talking about music, and the kind of mood it puts us in, and we realized, that Mozart is best heard with fillet au poivre with potatoes au gratin and saute mushrooms; Don Giovanni opera in particular needs Sauternes wine afterwards . On the other hand, Vivaldi, is best ,as expected, with Spinach Lasagna with Pinot Noir. We both enjoy culinary travel; that is to travel around countries trying their food, wines, you know. I'm not sure where its going really, but I think I'm in love with him.

(8)
He said: I proposed! I know .. I know.. I couldn't believe myself either. But I really love her. Physically? Well, she's a bit overweight, but she is sexy in her own way. I wouldn't say graceful, but she does have a unique way of carrying herself around. And she's really funny, a bit clumsy though. Come to our wedding! Oh of course, you can't , work ethics. Well, I'll be away for a while, but I'll get in touch with you as soon as I get back.


---To be continued

Old Posts: So Suffer

This old post is one of my favorites, an output to bitter feelings. It's a bit scary and twisted, but i was in
one of those moods

So suffer!

I will get my revenge
I will make you suffer
I will absorb you
Yes, your very soul.
Your smiles, your laughter, your every joy.
And you will want me
But you will fear me
And there will be a part of you always longing for me
You wanted my love, my attention, my obsession
Now you have it,
So suffer!

January 3rd, 2005

Foolish Games

I can't remember if I blogged this song before or not and I really don't care; I absolutely love it. I'd almost call it my favorite song, but we all know how my mood swings can affect my taste. First time I heard it I think was inhigh school. It just clicked, though , then I couldn't relate to it in any way, but I just understood what she meant.

Now, I realized, this is the typical pattern of person I fall for everytime. The "always the mysterious one with, dark eyes and careless hair" is my typical physical description of a special someone to my friends, "brilliant" is a quality I can't go without, "smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee" is the part that confuses me.. why do I always fall for smokers when I have serious objections to the principal, "philosophies on art, Baroque moved you, you loved Mozart" is for the fact that I tend to go for the cultured sophisticated type, who happen to have the opposite taste and beliefs than I do, which is, trust me, way harder to deal with than having someone who has no views on the matter.. why I do that to myself.. I have no idea, "fashionably sensitive but too cool to care" is the reason I always end up hurt, I guess. And finally " you'd speak of your loved ones", just to for the sake of complicating things more , I can now safely say, I became numb when the special someone would talk about his special someone. Miserable, right?!

Anyway, enough analysis, I leave you with the lyrics and a link to listen on YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvhknDLIjCU

Jewel - Foolish Games

You took your coat off and stood in the rain,
You're always crazy like that.
And I watched from my window,
Always felt I was outside looking in on you.
You're always the mysterious one with
Dark eyes and careless hair,
You were fashionably sensitive
But too cool to care.
You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather.

Well in case you failed to notice,
In case you failed to see,
This is my heart bleeding before you,
This is me down on my knees, and...

These foolish games are tearing me apart,
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.
You're breaking my heart.
You're always brilliant in the morning,
Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee.
Your philosophies on art, Baroque moved you.
You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar.

You'd teach me of honest things
Things that were daring, things that were clean
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean
So I hid my soiled hands behind my back
Somewhere along the line I must've gone off track with you

Well, excuse me, guess I've mistaken you for somebody else,
Somebody who gave a damn,
Somebody more like myself.

You took your coat off,
Stood in the rain,
You're always crazy like that.

Old Posts: I wish I had your life

-I wish I had your life!
-That's funny coming from someone like you.
-I've always wanted your life
-I was too scared to want yours.
-You were stable, straightforward and content.
-You always did what I never dared to do. Your life was a fairytale for me.
-You kept the friends you had since pre-school. I never had a friend for longer than a year.
-Yes, but any of your friends have more interesting stories than all of mine combined.
-Everyone adores you. You've been the best friend everybody wanted.
-I always gave. You always received. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be on the other side.
-You're a success. You have a great job, and a promising career.
-Career! You had more interesting jobs than I knew existed.
-Yeah, but nothing lasted.
-You were building experience
-Naah, I just got bored. Now, I'm too old to start over and too young to retire.
-But your name was known. I'm just one of the ants
-But at least you can support yourself. I'm either in debt or paying off my loans.
-But you are famous.
-You're popular. Everyone loves you…. …even my parents' think I'm a failure.
-You know they love you. All parents talk about their children that way.
-Yours never did.
-Well, I don't know. Your parents were always there for you,emotionally and financially.
-They had to; they brought me to this world.
-No, they didn't really have to. My parents never picked up the mess I made; yours did.
-Of course your parents never did, you never made a mess behind in the first place. Look at me. I'm rubbish.
-Don't say that! You're great. If I had your head, your passion, your talents, your creativity, your courage. For God's sake, I wouldn't have survived half the things you did, even if I dared to do them!
- Who said I survived? Everything left a scar. Now the wounds are too deep.
-You are a book of experience. You just need a bit of organization.
-You see everything beautiful. I wish I can see with your eyes.
-I wish you could.
-I still wish I had your life.
-I still wouldn't dare wish for yours.

A tribute to my loser friends

Pre-London, I had many groups of friends, each with their own mindset, sense of style, definition of what's cool and what's not, what's wrong and what's right, what is fun..etc. I used to try so hard to belong to each of these groups , to fit in only to realize that I was just a little bit different. Yes, they are all my friends. Yes , I have a lot in common with them. But there was just something missing. I always felt like something was missing, no one understood what I felt, what I want ...etc. I made it a point to prove I was different than everyone I met.

Post-London, I had much more groups of friends, again, each with their own everything. I refused to admit I belonged to any particular one, but naturally, I found myself at ease with everyone. I believed in the concept of "one", that we are all the same, no matter how much we claimed otherwise. I made it a point whenever people would say that I was every other person. When people would say that I changed, or that I was so unique, I'd argue so hard to prove that no, I'm not, I'm just like you... whoever you are, whatever you are. And I was comfortable with this belief for a while.

Then a while back, when I started to doubt and re-question everything. I questioned my own self.. was I the same as everyone else or was I unique and different. Then I came to the comfortable realization that "I am unique, so is everyone else", which although satisfying as a theory, doesn't really work in real life, because we all struggle to belong somewhere.. anywhere.

But last summer, I have been fortunate enough to actually belong somewhere. Somewhere where I don't have to match up to any expectations, to defend my quirky side, to fake shyness or pretend enthusiasm; somewhere where everyone is weird in their own way. A tradition of 5 o'clock chats has started at work where my friends gather up in our room "the business room" to talk about every single thought that might cross any of our minds. No taboos, no boundaries, no irony, no sarcasm, everyone respecting other people's point of view no matter how absurd it sounds. These 5 o'clock little chats have been one of the very few things that I actually look forward to in life. One of us would usually bring the group chocolate, or soda. We all know each other's preferences by heart. We all respect each other. We all care for each other. And although each of us has his or her own way, background, thoughts and ideas,...etc, we all agree on being one entity, I don't even have a name for that.

Finding this belongings has actually given me peace of mind. I know that no matter what happens through the night, I will find my support group the next morning. But weekends started to be soo long, boring and tasteless. And work hours started to grow longer and longer, and we don't mind working, cause we're having fun. Then when you work long hours, you stop having a life, cause life at work is pretty satisfying. So we become workaholic losers who have no lives. So in brief, this post, is a little tribute to my looser friends; who I am sure will not be offended when I say losers. Guys and gals; you made my life so much better, so thank you.